I have never been so busy with my work nor have I ever been so driven. I mean I drive myself really hard. Is it this year 2012? Is it the sign of the times? Is it that I am realizing that I have a limited time here on earth? I don’t know but I am exploding with ideas and dreams and I am doing my best to manifest all of them. My friend Diane Ericson (amazing fabric artist) said to me recently “just because I think of an idea, doesn’t mean that I have to do it”. I keep reflecting on this statement as I am racing the clock to get everything done that I have set up for myself. When something comes into my head to do, I think of Diane’s comment and I want to let it go and not do it, but instead I think of how cool it would be to do it and so it begins.
I am driven to create the images and ideas that come to me. My husband is used to this fact about me. I can see it on his face when I say “you know, I was thinking…”. He is thinking uh oh now what does she want me to do. But he is always a good sport and he does his best to accommodate me and my ideas.
My latest project was getting a body of work together for the wall upstairs at the art center. I wanted the art to be all the same size and matted and framed the same. I wanted them all to have a story,
The Story Art idea has been with me for a while. I didn’t want the text or story to be on the wall with the art like I usually do. So I came up with the idea to create a book to go with the exhibit, and I wanted it to be a nice hand-made – artist-made book. And this means me.
First I had to finish the art work then come the stories. Boy, I can tell you I can get very cranky when I am working on a story and it hasn’t come into focus yet. Some stories are right there, easy, given to me like a gift. Others I really have to work for. It’s like the image is trying to be clear but I am thick headed and pressured by the timeline. Oh I can tell you this is so uncomfortable and anxious and itchy. It is enough to make me want to holler “why me! Why do I do this to myself” and then run like hell away from being an artist. Then I remember It’s not about me, it’s about the art. Its the art that is trying to realize it’s self. Art really does have a life of it’s own that is independent from me. I did say yes to art and doing my best by it. After all, I absolutely love the art of making .
even though I make lots of mistakes, my imagination and drive to create something that isn’t, – is enough to carry me onward to whatever my goal is.