December 2012
I have never been so busy with my work nor have I ever been so driven. I mean I drive myself really hard. Is it this year 2012? Is it the sign of the times? Is it that I am realizing that I have a limited time here on earth? I don’t know but I am exploding with ideas and dreams and I am doing my best to manifest all of them. My friend Diane Ericson (amazing fabric artist) said to me recently “just because I think of an idea, doesn’t mean that I have to do it”. I keep reflecting on this statement as I am racing the clock to get everything done that I have set up for myself. When something comes into my head to do, I think of Diane’s comment and I want to let it go and not do it, but instead I think of how cool it would be to do it and so it begins.
I am driven to create the images and ideas that come to me. My husband is used to this fact about me. I can see it on his face when I say “you know, I was thinking…”. He is thinking uh oh now what does she want me to do. But he is always a good sport and he does his best to accommodate me and my ideas.
My latest project was getting a body of work together for the wall upstairs at the art center. I wanted the art to be all the same size and matted and framed the same. I wanted them all to have a story,
The Story Art idea has been with me for a while. I didn’t want the text or story to be on the wall with the art like I usually do. So I came up with the idea to create a book to go with the exhibit, and I wanted it to be a nice hand-made – artist-made book. And this means me.
First I had to finish the art work then come the stories. Boy, I can tell you I can get very cranky when I am working on a story and it hasn’t come into focus yet. Some stories are right there, easy, given to me like a gift. Others I really have to work for. It’s like the image is trying to be clear but I am thick headed and pressured by the timeline. Oh I can tell you this is so uncomfortable and anxious and itchy. It is enough to make me want to holler “why me! Why do I do this to myself” and then run like hell away from being an artist. Then I remember It’s not about me, it’s about the art. Its the art that is trying to realize it’s self. Art really does have a life of it’s own that is independent from me. I did say yes to art and doing my best by it. After all, I absolutely love the art of making .
even though I make lots of mistakes, my imagination and drive to create something that isn’t, – is enough to carry me onward to whatever my goal is.
Denise, I just finished a class with Jean Houston and some of the readings brought me to your site. I am certain you know her, as you are doing such similar work and both live in Oregon. (I use to live in Eugene, Or- I used to sell my mono prints at the Saturday craft market downtown Eugene…this was in 1984…!!!)
I had to write, because I have been enjoying looking and reading thru your site at your work and what you do in your classes. It is wonderful. I have already sent your site on to a friend because I thought she would also love to see what you do.
We are all the way on the other end, and I mean, literally other end of the country. I live on the farthest eastern end of Long Island, NY. It is beautiful here and I love it. This friend and I have been wanting to start a sort of “artist’s way” “salon” kind of group for writers and artists, and anyone really that wanted to participate. Of course logistics of space and cost of materials are a barrier right now….but, the idea is germinating. Strong enough in both of us right now that we may make it happen…
I just wanted to tell you how wonderful and inspiring you must be to the people who work with you. I have received so much just from the little bit I have read on your site and blog.
What is most special is that you are living a life of fullness. You are living present, accomplishing so much, and listening to the creative voices that call on you to create what you do.
I have been, how might I say this….I have been much more “suppressed” as an artist. To the point of not even wanting to call myself an artist. Yet, it is only when I am creating pieces of any kind that I feel best. I just don’t do it very much anymore….even though I have a ton of time to do it!!!!!
Hence, taking Jean Houston’s class. For the past 24 years I have been in a marriage that I kept trying to save. changing myself and turning myself inside out and upside down while also raising two daughters. It took me too long to get the many loud messages that this was not a good relationship for me and didn’t walk away from it until 2 years ago…I am still in mourning about it and still have a lot to “shed” so to speak to move forward. Baby steps. I am a little slow, painstakingly introspective.
What has always made me question is why all that introspection could not lead to more work, art work….
I have been engulfed in writing my “mythic story” (inspired by the assignment in Jean’s class). I have really gotten into this and thru it have seen so many new revelations that I never saw before telling my story to myself and others for years….until I began telling it in the third person I couldn’t see certain aspects of the things I see now. I am loving the process. I add to it daily. It is ongoing and the metaphors of just that idea have led me to be so much more forgiving and kind to myself about everything else in my life. So little is finite. Not finishing something, starting and scolding myself for not getting back to it, thinking of wanting to do something and not following thru, and again, scolding myself for it….I am looking at all of that differently. Being gentler on myself. When I am not laying expectations or judgements on it is so much easier to do anything!
I enjoyed reading about how prolific you are and how when you get an idea for something there is no stopping you. I envy that. But, again, envy is a silly word. I respect that kind of drive and motivation in others, while hoping for more of it in myself.
anyway, sorry for this long diatribe. I just wanted to say hello and tell you I am happy to have glimpsed in on your life and work here.
my best to you
Lisa
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